The gifts of imperfection

-

The Gifts of Imperfection
Brene Brown






The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.

If we can’t stand up to the never good enough and who do you think you are? we can’t move forward.

“Courage is like—it’s a habitus, a habit, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.”


Connection: The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard or valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from relationships

Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites.

Here's what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we're worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism.  

Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.

Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve", Perfectionism is other-focused:"What will they think"

Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame,judgment, and blame.

Perfectionism is self destructive simply because there's no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.

We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.

Hope is really a thought.

Hope is not an emotion; it's a way of thinking or a cognitive process.

We're raising children who have little tolerance for disappointment

Ads sell a great deal more than products. They sell values, images, and concepts of success and worth.

We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.

We're a nation hungry for more joy: Because we're starving from a lack of gratitude.

We're a nation of exhausted and over stressed adults raising over scheduled children

If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief

Until we can receive with an open heart, we're never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help

10 guide-points for wholehearted living:
  1. Cultivating Authenticity: Letting go of what people think.
  2. Cultivating Self-compassion: Letting go of perfectionism.
  3. Cultivating A Resilient Spirit: Letting go of numbing and powerlessness 
  4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark.
  5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting go of the need for certainty.
  6. Cultivating Creativity: Letting go of comparison.
  7. Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.
  8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle. 
  9. Cultivating Meaningful work: Letting go of self-doubt and "supposed to"
  10. Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance: Letting go of being cool and "Always in control"


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Understanding Power: The Indispensable Chomsky

-
Image
Understanding Power: The Indispensable Chomsky Noam Chomsky See, one of the interesting features of the 1980s is that to a large extent the United States had to carry out its foreign interventions through the medium of mercenary states. There’s a whole network of U.S. mercenary states. Israel is the major one, but it also includes Taiwan, South Africa, South Korea, [...], they’re international terrorist networks of mercenary states. It’s a new phenomenon in world history, way beyond what anybody has ever dreamt of. Other countries hire terrorists, we hire terrorist states, we’re a big, powerful country. But this 42-page document is kind of interesting. It outlines a massive international terrorist network run by the United States. It lists the countries that were involved, the ways we got them involved. All of it is focused on one thing in this case, the war in Nicaragua. But there were plenty of other operations going on, and if you expanded it to look at, say, Angola, and Afghanistan...
Read more

ثورة الأرض

-
Image
  ثورة الأرض جوزيه ساراماجو تتمتع الأرض أيضا بالمنظر الطبيعي. ومع أن بقية الأشياء ينقصها شيء، إلا أن المنظر دائما فائض بغزارة، تلك الغزارة التي يمكن تفسيرها فقط بالمعجزة التي لا تكل، ذلك لأن المنظر الطبيعي بلا أدنى شك أقدم من الإنسان، وبرغم هذا الوجود السرمدي، ما زال باقيا لم ينفد إن أردنا أن نصفها، فهى أرض رحبة، حدباء، بها شيء من ماء الضفاف، تجود به السماء أحيانا وتبخل أحيانًا أخرى، وصوب الجنوب تمتد مستوية، ملساء مثل كف اليد، مع أن جزءاً كبيراً منها، بقصد من الزمن، مال للانغلاق على نفسه مع مرور السنين فصارت مثل يد الفاس أو المنجل أو المحش. إنها الأرض التي تشبه أيضًا كف اليد فى أنها مغطاة بخطوط وسبل، وطرقها الحقيقية التى ستصبح فيما بعد قومية، عندما لا تتبع المجلس المحلى تصل الثلاثة طرق لأن الرقم ثلاثة رقم شاعری سحرى، وكنسى وكل الأمور الأخرى نجدها مفسرة فى هذه الخطوط ذهابا وإيابا ، بسككها ذات القدم الحافية والعارية بين الحقول والشجيرات بين جدامات القمح والزهور الحسناء، بين السور والصحراء. منظر طبيعي هائل. يستطيع المرء أن يمشى من هنا طيلة حياته دون أن يعثر على نفسه أبداً، إن ولد تائه...
Read more

The God Of Small Things

-
Image
The God Of Small Things Arundhati Roy For Mary Roy who grew me up. Who taught me to say 'excuse me' before interrupting her in Public. Who loved me enough to let me go. For LKC, who, like me, survived. Never again will a single story be told as though it's the only one - John Begoer In those early amorphous years when memory had only just begun, when life was full of Beginnings and no Ends, and everything was For Ever. Her tears made everything that had so far seemed unreal, real. It was always there. Like a fruit in season. Every season. As permanent as a government job. Neglect seemed to have resulted in an accidental release of the spirit.  Though you couldn't see the River from the house any more, like a seashell always has a sea-sense,  the Ayemebem house still has a river-sense. A rushing, rolling, fishswimming sense.  They used to make pickles, squashes, Curry powders and canned pineapples. And Banana Jam (illega...
Read more