Dare to Lead
Dare to Lead
Brene Brown
I
define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the
potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop
that potential.
Courage is a collection of four skill sets that can be taught, observed, and measured. The four skill sets are:
Rumbling with Vulnerability
Living into Our Values
Braving Trust
Learning to Rise
Fear
is the emotion at the center of that list of problematic behaviors and
culture issues—it’s precisely what you’d expect to find as the
underlying barrier to courage. However, all of the daring leaders we
interviewed talked about experiencing many types of fear on a regular
basis, which means that feeling fear is not the barrier.
The
true underlying obstacle to brave leadership is how we respond to our
fear. The real barrier to daring leadership is our armor—the thoughts,
emotions, and behaviors that we use to protect ourselves when we aren’t
willing and able to rumble with vulnerability.
In the past, jobs were about muscles, now they’re about brains, but in the future they’ll be about the heart.
—MINOUCHE SHAFIK, director, London School of Economics
Martin Luther King, Jr., defined power as the ability to achieve purpose and effect change
empathy is connecting to an emotion that underpins an experience
When in shame, I don’t talk, text, or type—I’m not fit for human consumption
One
of the most important benefits of reaching out to others is learning
that the experiences that make us feel the most alone are actually
universal. Regardless of who we are, how we were raised, or what we
believe, all of us fight hidden, silent battles against not being good
enough and not belonging enough. When we find the courage to share our
experiences and the compassion to hear others tell their stories, we
force shame out of hiding and end the silence. When we don’t reach out,
we often end up in fear, blame, and disconnection
who we are is how we lead
People, people, people are just people, people, people.
Here’s
the thing about values: While courage requires checking our armor and
weapons at the arena door, we do not have to enter every tough
conversation and difficult rumble completely empty-handed.
The
daring leaders we interviewed were never empty-handed in the arena. In
addition to rumble skills and tools, they always carried with them
clarity of values. This clarity is an essential support, a North Star in
times of darkness.
According
to the Oxford English Dictionary, values are “principles or standards
of behaviour; one’s judgment of what is important in life.” In our work,
I simplify the definition: A value is a way of being or believing that
we hold most important.
Living
into our values means that we do more than profess our values, we
practice them. We walk our talk—we are clear about what we believe and
hold important, and we take care that our intentions, words, thoughts,
and behaviors align with those beliefs.
On my list of courage behaviors is something my mom taught us growing up: Show up for people in pain and don’t look away.
This is a guideline for readiness. Are you in the right headspace to sit down and give someone feedback?
1. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.
2.
I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m willing to put the problem
in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).
3.
I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m ready to listen, ask
questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue.
4. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m ready to acknowledge what you do well instead of just picking apart your mistakes.
5. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges.
6. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming.
7. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I’m open to owning my part.
8.
I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can genuinely thank someone
for their efforts rather than just criticizing them for their failings.
9. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity.
10. I know I’m ready to give feedback when I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.

Comments
Post a Comment